Guilt Around Your Own Needs: Beltane + Scorpio Full Moon Work
This is a lesson I have to learn again and again.
As a mom, there are seasons where everyone else’s needs become so loud that mine barely register at all. There’s always something practical to do, someone who needs help, another mess to clean, another task that feels more important than whatever I wanted for myself. Lets not forget the voice in the back of your head—you should be doing something more productive than this. After enough time living like that, it gets easy to believe taking time for yourself is selfish, indulgent, or something you have to earn after everything else is handled.
The problem is, “everything else” is never fully handled. There is always another load of laundry, another errand, another responsibility waiting in line. If I keep using completion as the requirement for rest, pleasure, creativity, or care, those things never arrive. They stay pushed to the bottom of the list while resentment, depletion, and disconnection quietly grow in their place.
That is part of why Beltane feels so important to me. Beltane is alive, sensual, fertile, and fully engaged with the body. It reminds us that life is not meant to be lived only through duty. We are allowed warmth, beauty, pleasure, desire, and joy while life is still messy and unfinished. We do not need to become perfectly caught up before we are allowed to feel fully alive.
This is exactly the kind of pressure that builds under a Scorpio Full Moon. It brings up what’s been sitting under the surface—guilt, resentment, avoidance, the quiet ways you’ve been putting yourself last. Pair with Beltane - all heat and life and body-based energy, asking something very simple and very uncomfortable:
What do you actually want—and why aren’t you letting yourself have it?
What You’re Actually Carrying
The problem usually isn’t that you don’t know what you need. The guilt around resting when things still need done. The guilt around spending time on yourself. The guilt around enjoying something without justifying it first. We’re going to work with it through water, body, touch, fire, and tangible action until something begins to shift.
It sounds like:
“I should be doing something more productive.”
“There’s no time for that right now.”
“Other people need me first.”
“I’ll do it later.”
And most of the time, you don’t question it. You just adjust around it. You push through when you’re tired. You put things off that would actually help you. You ignore what your body is asking for until it gets loud enough to force your attention. And if you don’t interrupt it, it turns into burnout, resentment, or just feeling disconnected from yourself altogether.
This is where the Scorpio work comes in.
Scorpio Full Moon Ritual: Dissolving Guilt Through Water
Scorpio deals in what’s hidden, what’s avoided, what’s been carried longer than it should be. Water is how we work with that—holding it, softening it, breaking it down.
Guilt Dissolving Jar
You’ll need:
a jar or glass container
water
paper and pen
Write out your guilt—exactly how it shows up:
“I feel guilty resting when there’s still things to do.”
“I feel selfish taking time for myself.”
“I don’t let myself enjoy things without earning it.”
Fold the paper and place it in the jar. Fill it with water.
If you want to add to it:
a pinch of salt (for buildup and weight)
a splash of lemon or vinegar (to cut through it)
herbs like rosemary or sage (for clarity)
Set the jar somewhere you’ll see it.
Over the next few days, shake it, stir it, or just watch it.
Watch the paper soften. Watch the ink blur. Watch it lose its structure.
You’re not just “releasing” something—you’re watching it break down in a physical way.
Bath + Scrub Release
After setting your jar, follow it with a physical reset. Take a bath or a shower. Don’t rush it.
Make a simple scrub:
sugar or salt
oil (olive, coconut—whatever you have)
optional: coffee grounds or crushed herbs
Use your hands and scrub your body slowly—especially places that hold tension:
shoulders, chest, stomach, back of the neck.
You’re not trying to relax. You’re actively clearing.
Let the water carry it off.
You don’t need a long script for this. Keep it simple:
I don’t need to carry this.
Beltane Rituals: Reconnecting to Your Body and Desire
Once you’ve cleared something, you don’t leave that space empty. Beltane is about life force, desire, creation, and being fully in your body—not just using it to get through the day. This part is about rebuilding that connection in a real, physical way.
Body Oil for Activation
This isn’t “self-care.” This is preparation.
Use a simple oil base and add what you have access to:
a tiny pinch of cinnamon or clove (warmth)
rosemary or orange peel (movement, vitality)
patchouli or another grounding scent
Apply it to your skin before you do something for yourself—rest, create, sit down, go outside.
This marks the shift:
you’re choosing yourself on purpose.
Clay Mask Ritual
Mix clay with water (and herbs if you want).
Apply it slowly. Sit with it while it dries.
Just sit there and feel your face, your skin, your body existing without needing to do anything.
This is about being present in your body.
Fire Activation
Light a candle or small fire.
Say one thing you are choosing for yourself.
Out loud. Clearly.
“I’m taking time alone tonight.”
“I’m resting.”
“I’m finishing this for me.”
No explanation. No justification. No softening it.
Let it be direct.
Decadence as Spellwork
Choose something rich and fully yours.
Chocolate mousse. Crème brûlée. Something you don’t usually allow yourself unless there’s a reason.
You don’t share it.
You don’t multitask while eating it.
You don’t justify it.
You sit and experience it.
This is how you start retraining your body to receive without guilt.
What This Actually Changes
This isn’t about becoming perfectly balanced or suddenly having tons of time.
It’s about interrupting a pattern that probably runs automatically:
guilt → denial → burnout
And replacing it with something else:
awareness → action → support
You start noticing when the guilt shows up instead of immediately obeying it. You follow through on smaller needs instead of waiting until you’re completely depleted. You feel more present in your body instead of constantly running on empty. Nothing dramatic. Just different—and more sustainable.
Closing
Beltane teaches that tending your own fire is not selfish. It is necessary. When you are connected to yourself, your body, your pleasure, your creativity, and your own inner life, you move through the rest of your responsibilities differently. You are warmer, clearer, less resentful, and more present than when you run on fumes and call it productivity.
So if guilt rises when you rest, create, enjoy, or choose yourself, let that be the signal that there is deeper work to do—not proof that you are doing something wrong.
You are allowed to exist as a whole person, not just as what you provide for everyone else.
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